To my faithful readers,

If you want to continue to hear more from me, it would be best to head over to:
http://nostalgicchildhood.blogspot.com/.
It's been up for a while and I don't know how I overlooked telling you about it. I truly am sorry for leaving you in the dust. I was starting something new in my life and felt that I should start a new blog. I am leaving this one up. Start from the first day please.
Thank you for your faithfulness.
I hope you have a wonderful New Year!
Kristi

Deaf Secrecy - traveling notebook

I have an idea. I want to start a project, a giant one and I can't do it without your help. I want to start a traveling notebook for deaf teenagers all across the world.

It will be a place for your heartaches, your fears, your pain, your hopes, dreams, memories and secrets that will be shipped all across America and possibly across seas if anyone afar is interested.

And the best part? Everything you write will be completely anonymous. So don’t be afraid to spill your insides out all over the blank pages, because you don’t have to sign it.

This will be your outlet.

Write it, type it, draw it, glue and paste it on any page, in any order so it is all safe against guessing, and then send it off to the next city, the next state, the next country. Read the secrets of others, leave notes, underline, understand and feel it too.

In the end I will receive the notebook and scan the pages for all to see.

This is a project for everyone – I want you all to participate!

This is still in it’s planning stages as in how the notebook will get to you: whether I send it to you and you send it back for me to send to the next person OR I send it to the first person to send to the next in line. And I’m considering starting a small fund for ‘in case’ emergencies.

First I need to see just how many will be interested in joining this project. So please comment and shoot me a quick e-mail at deafteens@hotmail.com.

Please help spread the word about this project! The more, the better!

For more information: http://deafsecrecy.tumblr.com/

camp

was amazing. I caught on with sign language quickly and learned to sign and speak at the same time. I made so many new friends and it was hard to leave them all. The 2 weeks blurred by so fast. I hiked a total 21 miles during camp. I discovered a new part of me. I opened up so much. I even danced!
When I first walked in I was near tears because everyone was signing and I didn't understand a word which was freaking me out. We walked into the main room and instead of the booming laughter and voices I was used to, it was silent. Everyone was signing. That was a huge eye-opener for me. Relived to hear that several of the girls in my cabin are oral and some are learning sign like me, I was relived. And the rest is history.
It was an amazing experience that I will never forget.

P.S. - I am so going back next year.

it feels like a truck is ramming agaist the side of my house

but it's actually thunder.

i'm horrible with titles

An away camp for two weeks. I'm nervous. I've never been away from home for over 5 days. Let alone surrounded by strange people I've never met before. I'm hoping to leave with some friends but I know in the beginning it's going to be painfully awkward. It always is.
And this camp is going to be mainly sign language. I don't sign. I know it a little though. I can only sign slowly. I'm afraid that it's going to be a massive disadvantage to me. That I'm going to be once again lurking outside the crowds of deaf kids signing too fast for me to comprehend. That would seriously kill me...

Gahh!

I'm a teenager. I'm raised in the hearing world. I do sometimes wish I could be hearing like the others. (Don't get me wrong, I know it was a hard decision for my parents and I'm extremely glad they took this route with the CI)

I'm with my friends laughing, then I suddenly miss something vital to the conversation. It all goes downhill so quickly that I just pull away from the crowd and lurk on the outside. Because of this always happening, I'm not very social anymore. I'd rather resort to the internet than my friends.

I don't feel 100% Deaf. Because I don't feel fully accepted into the deaf culture and I doubt that I ever will... considering the fact I have a CI and a good percentage of the deaf culture despise them.
I always forget that I'm deaf and pretend that I'm a normal hearing teenager. But when it comes to people and socializing there's a war going on in my head.

Just walk away.
But I want to talk to him, he looks like a decent guy.
No, you won't understand a word he says.
But...
Don't make a fool of yourself.


I feel like I'm stuck in between two worlds. A saying I know most of you are familiar with. I am more accepted into the hearing world though. So in the hearing world I am.

Lack of posts + end of crew season = ?
Why is it that crew inspires me to blog? To expose my day to the whole world? Why is it only crew? Is it just my rant blog? Well I guess I could just resort to a diary? Am I just seeking attention?

I don't like this blog anymore. I wanted it to become something to inspire others but it became my rant diary.
I don't like it.

I'm going to an away camp in 2 weeks for deaf teenagers. I'm excited/nervous. I have many hopes in what this camp will do for me... but few expectations makes room for less disappointment.

a leap of faith

I can't jump with my CI on - it just flies off! Trampolines are great places to create static and get a major shock which could be somewhat dangerous for CI users. I cannot recall correctly but if we touch the area where our implant is the shock could basically break the implant inside your head. I don't want to get a third horrible experience with surgery so I'm pretty careful with static electricity.

9 more days of school!
Crew just ended yesterday and I had a blast! We all jumped/pushed others in the river. I was hesitant to be completely deaf around a whole crowd of teenagers but I couldn't resist to push someone in the water (and I knew that I would be pushed in in return) so off went the CI. And it wasn't that bad, thanks to my lip-reading skills!

Oh umm... my battery kind of died during a race yesterday and I was freaking out pretty bad. Heh. I never will learn.